I looked at his sleeping form from the doorway. Watching him sleep had always brought a smile to my lips, and it almost did even now. Then I remembered that he wasn't only sleeping. The one I love was in a coma, and had been for nearly two years. The doctors kept telling me I didn't need to come in everyday due to the fact that he wasn't likely to wake up anytime soon, but I didn't care I came to visit him every day anyway. He was there and I had to be here to help his unconscious self find him. One day he would wake up.
Nobody, not even the doctors, knew why he had fallen into a coma. They had thought maybe it had been due to stress, but they had said he would have woken up by now if that had been the cause.
I walked over to the hospital bed that held my baby and a tear rolled down my cheek. No matter how long I had to get used to this, seeing him lying there with all those wires hooked up to him was still enough to make me cry.
Sitting on the bed next to him I looked at the calendar. With a sharp pang of sadness I realized it was our anniversary. With him gone, everyday had pretty much melted together. If it hadn't been for the band and his parents, my whole like for the past two years would be a blur. Although, come to think about it, even with them the last two years were a little sketchy.
"Hey sweetie, you know what today is?" I said trying to keep the tears from falling. "Todays the day that marks we have been married for three years."
His comatose body sighed and I remembered all the times that he had sighed at me that same way. To me hearing that was like him telling me he had already knew and had just been waiting for me to figure it out. It had also made the tears that had been threatening to spill to crash through their barriers.
"Andy, why did you have to leave me?" I cried putting my face into my hands.
"Ashley, honey, you know that he can't tell you that answer." A sweet voice said from behind me and I turned to see Andy's parents standing in the doorway.
Quickly wiping the tears from my eyes and standing up I said, "I know."
Mrs. Biersack walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me, pulling me into a hug. Normally I wouldn't have cried in front of them for any reason, but this wasn't normally so I buried my head into her shoulder and cried.
After the tears had slowed I pulled my face up and wiped off the extra tears.
"Are you alright now dear?" she asked.
"Yeah, I'm a lot better. Thank you."
She smiled at me warmly and looked over at her son. "Have you ever had a dream where he wakes up?"
"All the time."
"I've had quite a few myself. Some felt so real I had thought I had fallen asleep when I had actually just woke up."
I looked at the sad face she woke. All this time I felt so lonely, but they were going through the same thing I was.
"Here." Mr. Biersack said handing me a cup of coffee. I hadn't even realized he had left the room.
I walked back over to Andy and sat down again, putting the coffee on the table that was next to Andy's bed. Picking up his hand I placed in on mine and began spreading his fingers apart and tracing them with my own. Before Andy had fallen into this coma I had done this anytime his hand had been near mine. It had really become a comforting habit.
"I remember he time Andy had called me and told me about the first time you did that to him." Mrs. Biersack said sitting in one of the other seats in the room.
"He called you to tell you to tell you about me doing this?" I asked. I hadn't thought it had been a big thing.
She nodded. "Yes, he had thought it was the weirdest thing you had ever done."
My face fell. I didn't know he had thought it was weird. Did he still think that, or had he still thought that? Andy had told me quite a few times how cute he thought it was. Had he been lying to me?
Mrs. Biersack must have noticed my face since she patted my knee. "Ashley that was just the first time. It had happened right after you had mysteriously changed and he hadn't been used to you acting that way. After that he loved it. He told me it had become something he loved, especially when he was nervous or scared. It had become as much of a comfort thing as I'm sure it is for you."
I felt much better after that. The thought that Andy hadn't liked that even though he told me he had hadn't set well with me.
"I'm guessing you realize today's you guys' anniversary?" she said.
I looked over at Mr. Biersack. He looked extremely uncomfortable with this conversation. That didn't surprise me though, he had never really liked the idea of Andy and I being together. Whether it was the fact that he didn't like me or the fact that he didn't like that Andy was gay was his problem, I wasn't sure.
"Yeah, I can't believe that he's been here for two years of it though."
"I know, but when he wakes up I'm sure you guys will make up for it."
After that Andy's parents had stayed a little while longer before deciding it was time to head home. Meaning I was alone with the comatose version of my husband. Life just wasn't fair.
I had stayed for a few more hours though. I just couldn't get myself to leave. I hated staying there where it smelled like death and disinfectant spray, but I hated having to leave him even worse. After having a battle with myself over leaving, I decided it was probably a good time to go. I had to go to work the next day so I did need sleep.
I bent over the bed and kissed Andy's forehead. I had thought multiple times about kissing him on the lips but I knew it wouldn't be the same.
I walked out of his room, turned off the lights, and was halfway down the hallway when I realized I had left my keys back in his room. With a sigh I went to retrieve them.
Walking in I almost screamed when I saw Andy's blue eyes open.
"Ash?" he whispered like he wasn't sure if I was really there.
"Oh my god, Andy!" I said and ran over to him.
"Ash, what am I doing here?"
"Honey you fell into a coma almost two years ago."
His eyes widened and I pressed my lips to his before he could say anything. I would explain everything to him but right now only one thing mattered: I had my baby back.